I think I’m getting a deeper understanding that there is no “right way” to be or to do things. There is however, a way to express oneself authentically, which isn’t “right”, but definitely makes one freer and makes life fuller.
I have been very busy lately. One of the many things I’ve been doing is rehearsing for an upcoming improv show. I’ve noticed that my most successful Improv scenes are ones in which I am not “doing” anything – just reacting to the other actor(s) and honoring what I’m feeling. And when my mind is “out of the way”, things just come out of my mouth unexpectedly, and people seem to enjoy it. I am often not “in” on the jokes I’m saying – I’m just deep in the moment. I guess there is truth somewhere in what’s being improvised, and that’s what people are reacting to. At first I thought people were laughing at me, not with me (since I wasn’t laughing). But now I’m realizing that they are laughing at themselves – or at some truth they can relate to.
In addition to the improv show, I am also recording new songs. I chose about twenty songs from all that I’ve written, and got them ready to record – some brand new and some old. Some of the old ones took on another life once I worked on them. I found myself allowing the songs to dictate what direction they would go. And all of them changed in some way – all unexpected changes. A couple even changed titles and “messages”. In one song in particular, I changed everything but 3 lines – it is practically a new song!
This way of creating is new for me. I spent most of my early years afraid that I would do something wrong, or not good enough, or wouldn’t be able to do something – so I’d play it safe and try to have it “all together” before I’d start something. Now I’m learning that it is best not to have it all figured out ahead of time. That leaves room for the magic to come in and create something new and fresh. Something that didn’t exist before. Something bigger than me. I find this process fascinating – letting the creative project in front of me take on its own life. And I feel like I am on a roll with creativity. It probably won’t last (nothing does), so I’ll get as much done now as I can. I’m learning to “go with the flow” as they say.
For those of you in the Los Angeles area, here’s a shameless plug for the Improv show: You can see 2 photos of me in costume on this website, in the Calendar section (it is me with the afro – scary)! The show is the “4 Hot Brunettes” in “Or Your Money Back”! It will be performed at BANG COMEDY THEATER, 457 N. Fairfax Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90036, phone: 323.653.6886. Performances every Saturday Night in August at 9:30pm. Tickets are $10. If you don’t enjoy the show, you can get your money back!!
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