First, let me say a HUGE thanks to everyone reading my blog, and listening to my music! THANK YOU!! And thanks to all who’ve sent me emails, messages, and comments (here and on MySpace) – it makes a huge difference to know I’m not putting my creative juices out into a vacuum.
I can see that I’m evolving. My tastes are changing (or maybe the haze around them is disappearing and I’m seeing myself clearer?). All that I’ve been doing creatively the past several years – songwriting, recording and releasing “Infinite Man”, acting in plays and films, improv, directing and acting my short film, “Lonely Boy” – has lead me to a place where I am in touch with some inner voice, which I can’t really hear, but can feel. I am allowing myself to express MY self. It comes with a sense of security that I have never ever had. Not certainty (I’m not certain of anything) – but security. If I rely on myself, and “listen” to that “voice”, there is a thread to follow, a direction to go. And if I fail, I pick myself up and move on, looking ahead at the next thing in front of me. I could not have found this place even a year ago (even if I was standing in it)! In the past, I thought failure equalled death. I thought if I failed, I’d never be able to move on to something else – my career would all be over. Having done so much work recently, and putting it out in the public, has shown me I can survive. Not everyone will like, or does like, everything I do, and that is just the way life is. And I’m learning that the true key to being fulfilled in what I do, is to fully and honestly express that inner “voice”. I hate using the term “inner voice”, but I don’t know what to call it. Or exactly what it is. I guess it is expressing my take on life and the world. Getting it out there so someone else can hear it and say “I understand”. Although it doesn’t always feel like it comes from me. It feels bigger than me. Like it is floating in the air, and I am tapping into it and jotting it down somehow in a melody, a lyric, a vocal or an emotion in an acting scene. The creative process is pretty amazing. It is probably good I don’t understand exactly what goes on. And even better that I don’t need to know anything to create. I just need to listen.
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