• Jay Jacobson

The Process of Life

If you’ve been reading my past few blogs you know a lot has been going on in my world career-wise – the radio interview, the short film, the writing and recording new songs…. At the same time, life has been a struggle. As I get older and live more, I am constantly surprised by how life unfolds. Life is a lot bigger and more powerful than I ever thought it was. We humans seem to feel we are in control and above it all somehow. But it only takes a hurricane, or the death of a loved one to remind us how fragile we are. I guess as I move through the years and grow and become more aware, the illusions I thought were real fade away. Illusions about myself, about others and about the world we live in. I am left staring at an empty canvas. Suddenly I’m not sure of anything. This may sound sad (and there is certainly a part of it that is), but at the same time there is a huge part of it that is freeing. It gives me more power to deal with life. With reality. And with that, there is a real opportunity to grow and shape myself. To be in the driver’s seat (so to speak) of my own life. I’ve never been so aware, so conscious of my growth, as I am these days. In the past, I would have thought that this experience would be exciting and joyous, but it really isn’t. There are moments of joy for sure. But there are also moments of great discomfort. I can see now that growth has nothing to do with emotions. It happens, and emotions get triggered and come and go. And there is no where to get to in the end – no great “thing” or “truth” to discover. My process, like life itself, is about evolving…evolving some more…evolving some more, and so on, until one day I die. And once again, I’m brought back to life being a journey – through storms and calm waters, and storms and calm waters. And as the Buddhists believe (I think), suffering comes from attachments. Attachments to ideas, to dreams, to people, to anything. I’m slowly letting go of them (I don’t even know why). And I am faced with nothing – just the process of life. Scary. Different. Yet, enormously freeing.

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